It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m moving.

My face is smushed against the glass –
cheekbone and jawline numb from
the cold, and long hours spent pressed
against the window. Rhythmic breaths
create patches of fog along the contours of my nose and lips.

Out of the corner of my right eye
I catch glimpses of the landscape we
pass by, but I’ve seen it all before.
Concrete barriers and painted lines
keep my driver on course.

Beyond the asphalt and wildflower medians
sprawl cornfields, suburban neighborhoods,
vast parks. Perpetual movement fools me
and for a moment, I am stationary –
free to view the passing still frames
of others’ lives.

Another mile marker and tired eyes flutter –
the endless strings of telephone lines,
cow pastures and landfills blur together
as the lullaby resonating from the spinning
axles beneath my feet sings me to sleep again.

Limb by limb,

I break.

I used to be volatile, now I’m exhausted.

In the past I devoured their truths,

Relaxed my throat and swallowed the

Liquor of their beliefs.

I was intoxicated with rage, belligerent

[Incomprehensive]

Now I’m hung over, down on my knees, vomiting values.

My wrists have been worn down to

The bone; bloody and raw.

I used to claw away at the wall, marking

The days until I got out.

My sentence is almost over but I’ve

Stopped caring,

My nails have grinded off and my fingers are numb anyway.

I was armed with bullets of thought

But the Kevlar of authority had rendered

It useless.

I’m up against the wall being stripped,

Searched.

Frustrated, humiliated, helpless.

All I have left is my fortress of consciousness.

The churches, the politicians, the teachers, the cops,

All bombard me with their cannons of

Civic duty.

Soon, I won’t be able to think for myself.

You twirl your tresses

Around a tapered finger

Utterly flawless.

A detailed description of the confines of my mind.

At dawn, a ghostly mist [I miss] descends

Upon the deserted [introverted] playground.

It floats among the [empty] tottering

Swings as if it were

A wandering [lost] spirit,

Yet this is home- as it was meant to be.

The hope of sunshine [you becoming mine] never

Touches this dark place, underneath the shadows;

And no mother dares let her child play here anymore.

It is a forlorn [ignored] looking place

For what is a playground without the presence of laughter?

A bitter chill penetrates the suffocating

Air, and visitors find it impossible

To stop shivering from the cold.

It is a strange [mystical] place

[Unnatural]

A once vibrant slide has become

Ruined with time’s passing;

Only chipped red paint [complaint] remains.

The rest has been captured by the [scarce]

Wind, taken to a forgotten land.

No enchanting flowers bloom.

Green grass hasn’t grown here for years.

It is dry, ominous, spiritless earth.

[There is no life here.]

But every now and then, there is

A breeze;

A feeling, a ray.

And for a moment, the world appears breathless;

[Waiting].

I am chaos.

I am screams of terror on humid, starless nights. I am broken windows and vandalized drug stores. I am the crowbar beating against your iron gate, your bloody handprints on the shower curtain. I am cracked fluorescent lights and grimy bathroom tiles puddled with water. I am the shadows swimming in your glassy eyes, the liquor at your lips, the laughter in your throat. I am the secret desires hidden behind locked doors. I peek at you from the keyhole in Pandora’s box, shaking your tempered frame, and when you release me, I will be demons with red eyes and anarchy hidden as embodiments of power and control.

I want to talk to someone random

Leave me something in my ask box.

Love Haiku # 9

His whisper ripped through

Me, found my core; naked and

Raw. “You’re beautiful.”

Questions

Love means hard questions.

Will I? Won’t I?

Should I? Could I?

Can I?

Yes? No?

How far would I go?

Me? You? Us?

There is no me without a you.

Is there a you without a me?

And if we’re truly one,

How will I

Breathe

When we are pried apart by chance and

Circumstance?

You are the sustenence in my

Veins.

Am I the oxygen in your blood?

Why me?

Why not?

Daily Love Haiku # 8

How beautiful it

Is to find someone who wants

Only you, happy.

Daily Love Haiku # 7

We were like fire

And rain; all I know is how

I loved you, in vain.

I am destruction.

I am fire. I am smoke. I am the toxic clouds surrounding your head, the torn asphalt beneath your feet, the broken glass in your heels. I am the skeletons of skyscrapers make of steel bones and brick skin. I am all that is becoming what will not be, and you standing in the wreckage. I am your mind wondering why, as your naive belief in peace and fairy tales comes crashing down. I am your wings, crumpled and broken as you realize you never could fly. I am the hole where your heart was torn out by corruption, and I am corruption itself.

All I feel is

The bite of metal on my skin

And God, it’s luscious.

Daily Love Haiku # 6

Hollow kisses and

Hurried good-byes turn to dust,

Fall against my skin.

Daily Love Haiku # 5

The beating of my

Broken heart rings louder than

Words we never say.